RIP Graham.......Bon Voyage Taylor

Have you ever experienced a day, or a week, when all the stars align? It’s a moment when the different stories or events of your life interconnect or collide and you suddenly realize that this is the true “first day of the rest of your life”.

Well, the past couple of weeks have been building to just such a culmination. Like the seemingly disparate stories in such critically diverse films as Crash and Valentine’s Day, events in my life have come together almost to the day.

My realization begins from an early morning phone message on the 6th of May. In anticipation of the day that lay ahead prior to my daughter’s flight, I scheduled the day off work. There was still so much to do, it seemed. After cutting the grass on my lawn, I came inside to find a message on my answering machine. It was my wife. She got a call from my mother. Bad news. A friend of mine had passed away. I quickly grabbed the morning paper, desperately searching for the Obituaries. I didn’t want to believe it until I saw for myself. Finally, the last section I checked revealed an entry for a recognizable name.

There it was. EDWARDS, Graham.

Emotions and memories came flooding over me. You never expect to find someone younger than you in the Obits. The irony is that for years I have been trying to find his older brother. What a sad way, I thought, to finally make contact. Anyway, I immediately got on the phone to various mutual friends to break the news, including a call to Los Angeles (totally forgetting the time difference) with a very early morning call there.

Ironically, this was the second death I was close to, as another friend’s mother passed away the day before. I began waiting for the next one, since the old saying says that “deaths happen in threes”. It soon came when another friend informed me about a close friend of his passing away on Saturday, simply passing away in his sleep.



As you are aware from my previous entry, my daughter has now gone to Rome. Her flight was scheduled to depart May 6 at 11:30 p.m. Earlier that evening, my son‘s soccer team had his first Cup game of the season, a somewhat important game, that began at 7:00 p.m. We left him playing to head off to the airport. We wanted to get there early to avoid the long lineups at check-in. It proved to be a wise decision, since her luggage was overweight by the acceptable 30 kgs. , and things had to be removed to bring it down. Needless to say, this was seen as a total inconvenience by my daughter. She was none to happy exposing the contents of her suitcase to all that passed by. Eventually, everything worked out. The weight was brought down to an acceptable amount, and the baggage was sent down the moving track somewhere within the bowels of the Terminal.

Returning to pick up my son, and discovering they lost out valiantly in penalty kicks, we returned home. It was truly a quiet space without my daughter. The darkness of the house as we entered only accentuated the fact. After medicating a sick goldfish, we finally went to bed. All but my wife, that is, who remained vigilant to an online flight tracking website, waiting to make sure that the flight to Rome took off. It did eventually – 1: 30 a.m.

I awoke the next morning at 5:30 to find both the laptop and my wife in sleep mode. I woke up the missus first.

I quickly roused my son, since we had to be downtown to write his SAT exam. We had taken care of one child's future, now it was time to concentrate on the other.
Despite the traffic, we made it to our destination with minimal delays. Needless to say, my mind was still on the impending funeral and viewing, which was slated to begin at 10:30.

I eventually made it to the funeral home, actually being the first to arrive and sign the guest book. Eerily silent, I walked into the viewing room and approached the casket, and his mother and sister. They didn't appear to recognize me until I told them. You could see the memories come back by the expressions on their faces. It was as if my name evoked a different time, when we were kids growing up. A phone call from another mutual friend sending his condolences brought a few tears of joy to his sister: When told that Graham’s brother was living in Vancouver for the past 30 years, and had not returned for a visit, I could hear my friend on the phone as he offered to fly him home. The emotions were too much.

It was then that I realized the power of love and friendship. Despite the absent years, the time was suddenly erased, and we were just the neighbours that stuck together through thick and thin…..always there for each other when we needed them. It made me want to connect with Steve, Graham’s brother, that much more.  I only hope "Stan" will want to reconnect with us.


Later that night, as I lay in bed, it struck me that there wasn’t as much of a dichotomy here as I had first suspected. Here were two people, Graham and my daughter, each of them ending one journey and beginning another: One in a physical sense, the other in a metaphysical, spiritual sense.

To my daughter, I say, embrace your new life, la dolce vita, and keep that spirit alive within you no matter how homesick you may get. If I did not make myself clear prior to your departure, allow me to offer you my full approval of this undertaking. Stay focussed on your dream. Never let it waver. I’m sure that the rest of us in your family aren’t the only ones to see that Juventus needs your “iron fist” management, and logical insights, not to mention a woman’s perspective. In the meantime, enjoy the company of your new family, and the joy you will bring to those three boys as they learn from someone as special as you. I predict they will hold you in their hearts for years after your time there is done. You are a very special person and Italy should be grateful, as well as proud, to include you in their population.

To Graham, I will always remember the Monty Python routines we all shared, and your “air guitar” and “air drumming” to Deep Purple and King Crimson. I will cherish the memories of time spent in my bedroom, over numerous cups of tea, discussing philosophies of live, love, and politics, and the emotional highs and lows of adolescence…..the laughs and the disagreements. It was all so very special. Rest in peace, my friend. The pain that came so quick, has ended just as fast. I shall remember the laugh…..

“…..you say goodbye, and I say hello……”